my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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