Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Vodka?
Forever.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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