I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
