Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
