I wanna bring you to show and tell
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It's rum buckets o'clock
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
