What tipped you off? The sombrero?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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