This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
