Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize