they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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