I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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