Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
