I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
