I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
