It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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