we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
