brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
