and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
