We're facebook friends in real life
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize