So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
