why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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