im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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