I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
