what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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