I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Randomize
