You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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