i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize