My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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