you guys were way drunker than both of me
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Randomize
