Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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