puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
