Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I queefed so loud it echoed.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
