So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
