knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
