You really coming over, don't trick.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You ruined the universe
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
