she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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