you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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