I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
