brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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