There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize