My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
