day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
