I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
We need to rekindle our bromance
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
