So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
