your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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