Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
