he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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