Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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