yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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