On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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