Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize