Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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