Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
My liver just had a heart attack.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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