I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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