Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize