....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
