im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
