If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
