I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
