I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
