trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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