I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
