How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
