i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
