I cockslap morals
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
