i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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