I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
