STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
