she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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