WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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