Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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