is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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