it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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