He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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